He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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