I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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