You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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