Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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