I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
