Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
