He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
