I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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