He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
