Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
