She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She swung at the pinata with crutches
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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