I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
