we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
