How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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