maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
