Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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