She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
