How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
