Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
