Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
