Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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