The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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