I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
