Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
