You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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