I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Where is the hickey?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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