I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
