I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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