I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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