Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
