Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
