I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
