Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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