Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So much Jack, so little girl.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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