I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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