And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
