I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
