I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
