JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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