She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
organizing the empties. That sober.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
