Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
