Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
