Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
