I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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