youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
