Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
