the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
