We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
