Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
