cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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