he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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