i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
