if only i could text you this smell
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
